Dear Thusani,
We’re getting married in exactly a month! I know things have been super busy for the both of us, especially with us working more than one job, starting new jobs, maintaining our new business venture (Floral Essence Co.), and organizing our wedding all at the same time. Juggling all these commitments and still having time for each other is one of the reasons why I know we’ll make it through anything.
I reached out to Tie • The • Thali to take you down memory lane and to hopefully ease your mind away from our busy lives. Before I start, I just want you to know that I’m so happy to have you in my life. I consider myself blessed to have a best friend, lover, and partner all in one. I can’t count the number of people who have told me or expressed what a big difference you’ve made in my life.
I want to thank Tie The Thali for surprising you and giving me the opportunity to share our significant moments leading to our wedding on September 2nd , 2017.
January 2014 – Seneca College
Everyone knows my memory is horrible, but I can still remember the first time I saw you. I don’t think I can ever forget that moment; you sitting on the floor beside your friend, winter jacket, jeans, furry boots, and a Tim Horton’s cup in your hand. It was the first day of the semester, and I was walking around looking for the Project Management classroom. I found the room, passed by you, and stood across with the rest of the students.
I didn’t understand what I was feeling but butterflies in my stomach pretty much sums it up. I kept looking around just so I can get small glimpses of you while trying to figure out how to get my heart to stop pumping so fast! my program (Municipal Administration) and your program (Tribunals and Courts) was mixed into a class, and this class we were in pushed our paths together. I didn’t know how to go up to random girls and start a conversation, so having a class together was my best opportunity to be close to you.
We went from being classmates, to group partners, and then finally friends. I never missed Project Management class just so I could see you, even though you missed some classes. We sat on opposite ends of the classroom but I did my best to get glimpses of you without anyone noticing. I remember sitting in class one day and finally realizing that I was going through a Tamil movie scene. Here I was, falling hopelessly in love with you and with each passing second I was waiting to burst out and confess my feelings, but I couldn’t. I replayed many scenarios in my head on how to tell you my thoughts without offending you or making you hate me but I couldn’t risk it and I buried my feelings.
I remember seeing you on the last day of exams. I didn’t even care about studying when all I kept thinking was that this is the last day that I’d see you. I took my last glimpse at you before the exam and you caught me, and you smiled. Do you know how hard it is to write a final exam with your heart pumping super fast, stomach full of butterflies flying around madly and a Tamil love song in your head? (I still ended up with an A in that class though!)
December 2014- Part 2 (Thanks Technology)
Months went by without hearing from you and I never felt so heart broken in my life. I honestly couldn’t function without you. You deleted your Instagram and Facebook and I had no ways to even see your face. I didn’t know where you were, what you were doing, and how you were. I started working security in the Toronto Housing buildings. The pain, sadness, and struggles I witnessed while working in an environment with drug users, dealers, prostitutes, gang members, and homelessness was nothing compared to what I carried inside from missing you.
2014 was the year Snapchat started becoming popular and guess who added me? I was so happy to finally have a way to get in touch with you, and I couldn’t let you get away again. Thanks to a snap of my dog Julie, you messaged and we got reconnected again!
After catching up and becoming friends again, you would stay up with me most of the night and talk to me until I finished work at 6:00 a.m. It was a challenging balance at work having to deal with drug users and trespassers while talking with you at the same time. I still get this tingly feeling when I remember the moment you told me that you felt the same way about me as I did, when we were at Seneca. I couldn’t believe you, and you couldn’t believe me when I counter confessed my love.
January 16, 2015 – First Date
I hadn’t been on a date in years until ours. I wasn’t into getting into relationships unless something triggered me, like the butterflies I felt when I first saw you. I’m a strong believer in love and its power, whether it’s the love of family, friends, and people – and you were the only girl to trigger that in me. I had no problem waiting these 5 years, just to have you.
For our first date we watched a movie and ate at Boston Pizza. I remember sitting across from you, while eating pasta and thinking… “Wow.. she’s really right in front you”. After dinner, we sat in the car and talked for a bit until I finally found the guts to ask you to be my girlfriend. I know you didn’t expect it but I wasn’t going to keep quiet this time around. Those months without you, it made me realize that I will never stay quiet on things that make me feel so alive (like you do). You said yes, and I knew from that day you would be my wife one day.
July 16, 2016 – Proposal
A year and some months went by and we got to know each other very well. I know you think I’m crazy when I tell you that we must have been lovers in past lives. I’m not much of a people’s person or outgoing, but me and you, we synced so easily and I’ve never felt so much comfort talking and being with someone other than you. The first few months were challenging, not for us but the people around us. I remember reminding you not to worry and that I like challenges like this because it pushes me to prove people wrong. Being on the same page about wanting a serious relationship, getting married, and starting a family soon made things easier for us – and made everyone realize that this is for real.
18 months after asking you to be my girlfriend, July 16th, 2016 was the day I proposed to you. I remember being so stressed out and wanting to make sure you were surprised and happy with it. You used to show me so many videos of proposals and weddings that I knew I had to do something special, even if it scared me. With the help of our family and friends, we were able to get you to Beachfront Park, a quiet, beautiful beach area with a playground, walkway, boats, and small businesses close by. I thought it’d be the perfect place to propose, especially since we go for walks there. It couldn’t have been perfect without the help of our family and friends, so I thank them for helping me plan, organize, and propose to you. Hope you loved it!
August 27, 2016 – Legal Ceremony
August 27, 2016 is the day we signed legal marriage documents. I’m still trying to grasp the idea behind as to why being legally married is viewed as an engagement in our community. It’s hard to explain to people that I’m legally married but not traditionally married – so technically I’m married, but not? It took a while for me to understand that this ceremony is simply done to save shame for both individuals and their families. For example, if two individuals are seen together in public and a family member sees them, they “signed” the papers, so it’s okay that they’re seen together. There is a lot I don’t agree with and like about some of our mentalities, cultures, and traditions but you always make me realize that tradition is tradition and eventually it will adapt and change with time.
Either way, I still tell everyone I’m married and I couldn’t be happier to be stuck with you forever, papers or not! Hope you enjoyed our day!
September 2, 2017 – Wedding
Today is August 2, 2017 and in exactly one month we are going to be 100% husband and wife, no matter what. This is your chance to run away! I know it’s been so stressful and I wish I could make it go away but we’ll be fine, just like you always tell me.
I’ll stop here. Take a breath, one more month to go! We got this!
Your loving husband,
Siva Samson Ravindran
The Gallery of Siva & Thusani
Images by Digital Fusion Production
and
Trails of Memories
Are you all done wiping up your tears and feeling their love through this post? Excuse us while we continue gushing over this sweet gesture by Siva to his fiancee (but legally his wife) . Congratulations you two and the Tie • The • Thali team can’t wait for your wedding!